Fear of Failure

Rashmi for the first time failed in her life in 8th standard, in mathematics. She was taken aback as she looked at her score card. She thought of herself as an average student but this one failure made her feel so pathetic. She lost all her confidence. At night, she was lying in her bed numb for whole night. She got up at 4am, passed by parents’ room & overheard her father saying to her mother,
“Rashmi has disappointed me for the first time in life. I never asked my children to top and secure highest grades, but passing is the least I expect from them. Couldn’t they give me back this little, in return of the efforts I’m making to educate them. Our father didn’t have enough money to educate us, and here, I’m trying to educate them but they ain’t willing to, may be, I don’t know! What? And Why?”

Rashmi eavesdropped her father and tears rolled down her cheeks. She knew she had disappointed her parents. She went on the terrace, cried for long. She made a promise to herself that she’ll never disappoint her family again, in her whole life, never let them down.

She worked hard for compartment and passed. Later when she went to school, she felt embarrassed in her class to share her result with her friends. Though a few more got compartment, but they were habitual to it, but Rashmi was not.

The feared from failing again, she dreaded it. She knew she won’t be able to take the pains of failing ever again in her life, this fear of failure gave her strength to work hard all her life.

PS : This was my entry for #Microfiction #Fear wrote on 28June, 2013 but published late.

Intuitive Love

They were celebrating their 21st marriage anniversary. After the party ended, they moved towards their room.

He followed her. He suddenly hugged her from behind, to her surprise & uttered, “Its’s been 21 years, I’m still enduring you, I can’t believe it, you are amazing Neha,” he giggles.

She, “yeah & it’s a glee to put up with all your bad habits, you still leave the wet towel on bed, you make a mess of bed linen, you never help me in household chores, but when you kiss me on cheek stealthily while I’m busy working is the sweetest thing you always do and I fall for you more,” she chuckles.

He, “thanks for accepting me the way I’m, thanks for loving me this way, I’m so lucky to have you.”

She, “love is not just about the smiles we share, one has to put up with the bad habits of their partner too; love is not a cake walk.”

He, “thats so true Neha, like I endure with your stubborn attitude since day one,” he teases her.

She nudges him in the ribs & he tickles her.

They playfully retire to bed & lying side by side, he recalls, “21 years back, when I first time saw your picture, I had an intuition that this girl shall be my wife, I don’t know why, my inner voice told me that she’s the one”

She replied, “so did my instinct told me, when I first time looked at your picture, I knew from that very moment, you’re the only one for me” she smiled looking deep in his eyes.

He, “and then I just couldn’t listen to anybody except the voice calling my heart, coming out of your picture.”

She gets up from bed & holds in her hand the photoframe lying beside their bed, on the table & shows it to him, their first pictures they saw & fell for each other.

PS : This was my entry for #Microficiton #Instincts on 21 June,2013

Contrasted Desires

Drishti got up from bed & started preparing evening tea. Ramiz, her father stood silently gazing outside the door. She went towards the door & stood behind his father. She saw that a couple was busy planting new trees together. They smiled at each other & enjoyed it completely.

After, seeing that, she knew that his father also longs for her mother, he too wishes to relish small pleasures of life. He was dying inside, for his wife had left him recently, for somebody else. He lived for her daughter.

She couldn’t see this increasing distance between her parents. She was on the brink of losing her mother. For her, their home was no more homely. It seemed to her as dark as hell. She desired seclusion with her grief-stricken heart; on the contrary, her father only desired the company of her daughter, just one reason left to live for.

Finally, she poured out her heart to her dad, “I want to stay aloof for sometime or forever, I don’t know dad, I want to go somewhere” out of utter despair, she said.

Her father replied, “please don’t do this to me, I can’t stay alone at this time, please don’t leave me alone, it would make me lose every reason to live.”

Her eyes were brimmed with tears, yet she held back her tears with full force and said, “ok dad, I’ll stay with you.” In this contrast of desires, the girl had to accept his father’s desires over her own.

PS : This was my entry for #Microfiction #Contrasts on 14 June,2013

Love & hope entwined

She entered home, hiding her face & eyes from all the family members. She went in her room & closed the door. She laid on bed n wept vehemently. She was hiding her tears from whole world, from her family.

She had a heated argument with his boyfriend. She didn't share with her family or friends. She stayed aloof & wrote a mail about breaking up. She loved him very much. According to her she was right & according to his boyfriend he was right. This way no solution came out. She kept on typing with tearful eyes while  introspection was also going on at the back of her mind.

She fell asleep while typing that mail in her cell fone. She woke up after 3hours. Her mind was calm at this time. The sweet sound of wind chime entered her ears. She heard nothing except those chimes due to breeze as it was dangling near the window.

She got up from bed & looked at wind chime, it made her smile with its sweet sound. It gave her hope in those moments. She went near the window & peeped outside. Cool breeze caressed her face & she felt loved in those moments. Nature gave her hope to continue with her boyfriend & love him more. She decided to talk to him & find a solution. Hope helped her move on & leave tears behind.

PS : This was my another entry for #Microfiction #Hope on 7 June 2013

Silence - a choice

The four members, parents in their middle age with their daughter & son, were dining together. The guy had come from Denmark where he stayed for 3 years & worked.  The girl had come from New York where she worked for 2years. The boy told his experiences of staying abroad and the girl told hers. The brother & sister did listen to each other & could understand each other. 

Suddenly, the girl noticed some strange & awkward silence between their parents; they were absolutely engrossed in dining. The mother & father didn’t talk to each other, they were silent. The daughter said to herself, “the deaf ear is a choice, they could have participated in the conversation, to make their children happy, we've come home after so long.” She just didn’t understand what was wrong with her parents. She left the dining table & said, “ I’m done with it, dinner was god mom.” Her mother replied but she chose to turn a deaf ear towards her & went in her room. 

She then went in her parents’ room while her mother was working in kitchen & father was watching television in living room. She checked wardrobe, drawers, and everything else to see what was going on. She suddenly got the papers of their divorce. They had already been divorced since 2 years and she was appalled to know that their parents never let them know about it. Now she understood the reason behind their parents silence on dining table. The girl had planned to tell their parents about his boyfriend & she wanted to marry him, but now she didn’t know to whom she should tell, father or mother? She was on the horns of dilemma, she didn’t know what to do. Now Silence took over her.

PS: My contribution to #Microfiction #Choices on 31May,2013

Love in stadium

It was 9:55 am. She was sound asleep. Her cell phone buzzed & she woke up. She checked texts from her friend Deepali,"where are you? Coming for lecture or not?" She replied,"just woke up, reaching in 15-20mins." She got up, jumped towards her wardrobe, gazed all the green shades... She took out a bright green top & jeans. She had shower quickly & rode towards college. She entered campus & passed by the cricket ground where guys played. She saw the guy batting, hit a shot far away & then moving his bat in air just like practicing shot. She was never interested in cricket, it was something that repelled her most. She accelerated as well as looked at him till she reached the brink of colliding with a professor's car! She heard the horn, took her glance off the boy & turned her face on the car that was absolutely in front of her & the professor gave her an indignant look. She said,"Sorry Sir" & disappeared from there, reached near lecture hall, her friend was waiting for her. They went inside for lecture, but she couldn't concentrate on lecture, she was lost in the green ground where boys were playing & that boy was still playing with his bat on the back of her mind. She left the class without saying anything to anybody. The professor with whose car she was about to collide, caught him in the corridor. She was scarred about confronting him so she stealthily left the corridor.

She moved towards the cricket ground. She saw that guy again moving around with his friends, chattering. The boy caught her looking at him. He smiled at her. She smiled back. He came closer to her smirking & said,"what fascinated you so much about my shot that you almost collided with the professor!" She replied in a faltering way,"nothing, it just happened, I don't know, why, what happened, whatever, chuck it." He said, "you can sit in stadium & look at us but not while riding." She smilingly said,"okay". She suddenly got interested in cricket. She sat in the stadium to stare the guy and she couldn't know when it turned a habit. She had fallen for him by the end of a month. She just couldn't say it, though she wanted to shout out aloud in stadium, "I'm in love" but she wanted the guy to initiate. So she waited for a month more & the guy had fallen for her too as he saw her daily in the stadium cheering. He saw her very close to her, just like his bat. He loved his bat & now he loved the girl equally. Cricket was his passion, now he was passionate about the girl too. One day after the match, they both grew irresistible & they both knew inwardly that the feeling was mutual. He went closer to her & brushed his lips against hers softly. He was a man of cricket, so he abstained words & said it all through his kiss. But she was a girl of fairy tales, she just held his hand in hers entwined. They sat in stadium side by side blushing & chattering.

PS : Sorry for not using cricket register, that's because I am not into it & have no idea of terms! It was just a try of going into something I detest i.e. cricket!

Layers of Truth

Ramij observed a benevolent lady everyday in a burka, completely covered, and going to a school of visually challenged children, helping the kids learn writing & reading and in recess feeding birds, showering love on children, caressing their back, sometimes leaning forward to kiss their cheek with her hidden lips, when a child tried to remove that veil before she kissed, she turned away, reluctant to show her face. He saw her reflecting but she seldom talked to anybody. She hid herself in isolation. He just couldn't make out why is she running away from the world? Why is she bound to hide herself? What is it that prevents her from showing her identity? He didn't know how she looks or what goes on in her head? He wanted to unravel the veils physical as well as mental layers. He grew curious & in love with the lady's virtues, seeing her daily. He mustered up courage one day & went to the lady & said, "I'm closely observing you on daily basis for some couple of months and I don't know whether you're ugly or pretty, but your enigmatic personality concerns me... I desperately wish to know your plight, listen your voice, see your face, what is it behind this burka that you are so keen to hide?"

She retorted furiously,"and then you'd unclad to satisfy your lust, that's what everyone did, I was a whore and this much is enough to introduce myself & you can leave my way, with contempt towards me." He was taken aback by this disclosure. His face went pale all of a sudden unnerved, benumbed... He looked at her aghast! She ignored him & walked away. He stood there for hours & the 'waves' of 'thoughts' disturbed his mind's 'shore' for hours & hours. He now had more questions - she seemed a philanthropic person, how can she be a whore? Numerous possible reasons arose as conjecture but his ears were tempted to listen her painful voice again. He wanted to heal her soul who served others.

Next day he again saw her & his heart skipped a beat! In his heart, echoed the words she said the previous day. She saw him but ignored as if 'yesterday' was an unreal day, it was more like a dream to her. He again came in her way, "your thoughts troubled me whole night, and I just couldn't sleep, please tell me more about you",he pleaded. He looked worried to her, so she affirmed,"Okay today evening, come at this place, I'll tell you" giving him a piece of paper." He replied, "see you" with a small but hopeful smile.

In the evening, he reached at that place, it was a small house, located in a shabby street. He knocked door. She opened, and she was still wearing that burka, he realized perhaps to hide herself. She asked him to sit on the chair and she also sat, she offered him a cup of tea. Then she said, "I know you are eager to listen about my life, I can read your eyes brimmed with curiosity, restlessness & frowning look, I begin my tale... I was born in the family of a poor farmer in a village, I'd nine siblings & I'm the eldest of them. Due to poverty, my father sold me to a man, when I was 14 year old and that man stripped me every night forcefully, had sexual intercourse and when I tried to run away he thrashed me, called two three other men too to add to my sufferings, threw me in a dark room after that, I tried to run away several times but failed. One day, since that man was drunk, he forgot to lock the door, and I finally got the chance to get free from his chains. I ran & ran & I didn't know where I was, yet I managed to reach my father's house somehow & that was the only place I could expect something, but my expectations shattered when my father threatened me to sold me again, he said that he couldn't afford the expenses of children so he sold off all the daughters & only 2 sons stayed with him. I turned back & wandered hither & thither for a couple of days, fainted in a deserted street.

A group of men passing by abducted me & took me to a whorehouse. Numerous men came there everyday & saw her naked, that was the power of money & I was penniless. I had no other option to continue life except that way. After six months, when I had completely lost all hopes, all faith, I was living like a dead body, for the lascivious men who visited us. Some more girls alike me were brought there. I didn't talk to any of those girls, I preferred to sit quietly in a corner, retrospected about my life. Gradually one girl grew compassionate towards me, she conversed with me.  Years passed, we girls grew mature, completed out teenage in brothel, that girl suggested me to run away. One night, when it was heavily raining & thundering, we stealthily came out and ran on the road, then took refuge in a small hut as it was chilly outside. Then early morning, we again, left that hut & tried to go as far as we can from that area. We boarded a train without tickets and got off on a station after 4 hours. We weren't acquainted with the place, nor had we ever heard before the name of that station, which we instantly forgot & moved on. Then we met a lady who founded this blind school, she seemed middle aged, quite elder to us, we asked her for help, she took us to her home & provided us everything, and asked us our whereabouts, we both told her about our predicament and she said, we could work in her school & help the visually challenged children.

Thereafter I decided to hide my body forever from all the men of this world, and live a life of charity, in service of birds, animals, they all form nature. She had moist eyes by now. He raised from his chair & sat down in front of his chair. Looked at her, took her both hands in her hands & kissed them deeply with infinite affection and reverence. He said, "I fell in love with you when I saw you first time in burka, feeding birds gaily, now you have earned more respect, more love, and I can spend rest of my life seeing you in burka, I don't mind, I love you truly" she smiled behind that veil and he could only see her eyes smiling. She hugged him instantly with tearful eyes. He hugged back even tighter, with an unsaid promise of clinging to her forever.

This post is a part of <a title="Write Over the Weekend" href="http://blog.blogadda.com/category/write-over-the-weekend-wow" target="_blank">Write Over the Weekend</a>, an initiative for <a title="Reach out to the largest community of Indian Bloggers" href="http://www.blogadda.com/" target="_blank">Indian Bloggers</a> by BlogAdda




Soulmates

Reeti was a daughter of a navy officer. Since she belonged to elite class, her father received invitations in dinner parties, which she loved to attend. She was an ebullient girl with charisma. Once in such party, she was seemingly very perky and frolicsome, suddenly she collided with a gentleman who was walking with a tray in his hands, filled with some snacks which fell on her red evening gown. He said, “I’m so sorry” repeatedly with an anxious countenance. She smiled humbly and said, “That's alright, may be it was my fault, not yours” and she hastened towards washroom. He was surprised by her modesty and the unusual jovial smile. She came back and was absolutely cool-headed. Soon he got busy with his work. She captured his eyes again, when she was dancing a waltz with an aged man possibly her grandfather’s age. Both danced amiably & the crowd gazed them with a smile & that guy got more impressed & interested as well.

The party got over, she was bidding adieu to the people she knew. That guy came closer & said, “you danced well.” She replied gracefully, “thanks” with her sheen smile. He further said, “I guess I’ve seen you before I can’t recall where, may be in a party.”

She replied, “may be; I’m habitual with such parties.”

He asked, “may I know your name Miss”

She said, “I’m Reet Dsouza” and you?

“I’m Amit Tiran working as caterer, I did my Hotel Management two years back from IIHM & got a job in Pune itself, about to get promotion & placement in Taj group Mumbai. So I’m gonna shift there soon."

Reet’s father intervened & said, “we’re getting late, lets go”. She hurriedly said, “bye” to Amit & left.

Both Reet & Amit went back to their places that night & retired to bed soon but both couldn’t sleep despite weariness. They both were reminiscing each other, great deal of telepathy happened. He closed his eyes & recalled her amicable smile. She closed her eyes & couldn’t get her head off, the short conversation they had. She said to herself, “if only daddy hadn’t interrupted & I could have talked to him for long.” Both thinking of each other, got up from their beds’ & turned on laptop, logged in to their FB id & searched each other & found. Both at the same time were online, this simple fact brought smile on their faces. Then they continued their conversation via chat thereafter video calls. Some attraction towards each other they felt. The chats continued till the dawn broke, they were sleepy heads falling on the keyboards yet willing to chat endlessly, stay in touch forever & ever. Every moment, every second, they showered shy smiles, loud giggles & grins followed by blush & basked in hearts, as if they had found their soulmate in a single meeting. 

This post is a part of <a title="Write Over the Weekend" href="http://blog.blogadda.com/category/write-over-the-weekend-wow">Write Over the Weekend</a>, an initiative for <a title="Reach out to the largest community of Indian Bloggers" href="http://www.blogadda.com/" target="_blank">Indian Bloggers</a> by BlogAdda




First visit to bar

Ashmita woke up, went to the bathroom & looked at the mirror. She was as restless as the tidal wave in her mind. She couldn’t believe that she had made one of the biggest mistakes of her life. She placed her palm on her mouth. Her eyes were brimmed with the guilt & realization as if she had come back to senses. She wept vehemently, yelled out of angst, thrashed her clenched fist on mirror & her palm bled profusely pouring her whole hand in blood. 

She sat reclining against the wall of bathroom, staring her hand. Then melancholic memories revisited her. She was calm outwardly despite the injured hand because the inward turmoil continued to vex her so much as to let her forget the pain in hand. She turned introspective.

She had slept with a bartender, though she had gone to the bar with an intention of getting high to forget the miseries she was already surrounded with, but behaving immorally was the worst crimes for her. She boozed for the first time that day and she didn’t know how it let her lose senses. She was alone & the amorous bartender took the advantage

She was an estranged woman, lately left her husband for he was a philanderer, which she didn’t know as their families tied the knot previous year. She found herself all alone amid chaotic paths of life as if had been flung in an ocean.

This post is a part of <a title="Write Over the Weekend" href="http://blog.blogadda.com/category/write-over-the-weekend-wow">Write Over the Weekend</a>, an initiative for <a title="Reach out to the largest community of Indian Bloggers" href="http://www.blogadda.com/" target="_blank">Indian Bloggers</a> by BlogAdda